In just one short week, me and my lady friend will be hopping in a car and driving to Arkansas for a conference on creativity. Now, my first reaction is to make fun of such a conference. Creativity in Arkansas? Is that even possible? Feel free to make your own jokes, but I’m going to be the bigger man and move on. Okay, just one. I hope their idea of creativity in 2010 is not using flannel boards as a means to bring stories to life. Or that the new trend in social media is that new MySpace phenomenon. And if FinallyFast has a booth in the convention hall, I’m leaving. Alright, I’m done now.
So I’m heading to a conference and I always get a bit nervous about these things. The same thing happened when I was in youth ministry. The same question always pops up. “How big is your church?” “How big is your youth group?” For some reason, our value is attributed to the size of our church or ministry. And I’ve always hated that. Because I don’t have a huge ministry. I don’t work for a mega church. So in the eyes of the world, my value is very low. I’ve been tempted to lie on occasion. “How big is my church? A billion a week. How about yours?” “You ever heard of Starbucks? We started that in our church basement as a small youth fundraiser.” They might be lies, but they’d make me feel better. Better than saying, “You know? My church isn’t big and flashy. My feet are small and narrow and flat. My car needs three new tires. Most everything I know about design I learned from online tutorials. I’ve never won an award or been published. I listen to the “Glee” soundtrack. And I forget to flush most of the time.”
So as I get ready to go to this conference (note to self, you still need to actually register for this conference, find a hotel, and rent a car), I’m trying to go in with a new perspective. A perspective that bigger isn’t better. By the way, this perspective does not work when talking about TV’s or Christmas presents. I’m trying to go into this conference content with who God has created me to be. In Matthew 5, Jesus says, “You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are – no more, no less.” In Romans 12, you read, “Let’s just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren’t.”
So who am I? Am I a designer? Am I a youth minister that just isn’t youth ministering right now? What is my legacy? I was talking with some men about this a few weeks ago, and it was amazing that we all agreed that we are not our jobs. We are more than that. When we retire or move on or are down sized, people aren’t really going to remember us for long. For what we did for this or that company. But where will we be remembered? At home. Our families. Our children. My son doesn’t care if I ever win a design award. But he does care when I spend more time at work than I do playing with him. Or when I tell him that I can’t pass a football because I have a project I have to finish. My legacy is being formed at home. With my son. With my wife.
So as I go to this conference next week, I will not get drawn into the comparison trap. Yes, other people are better designers than I am. And other people work for bigger, flashier churches. And others have bigger paychecks and budgets. But God has me where He wants me. And my legacy does not lie in what I do, what my job is. My legacy is being made at home. And maybe I need to spend a bit more time worrying about that than about whether people like my designs or not.





